Cowboy Wisdom for the Week, December 15, 2012

Friday, December 14, 2012
by Patrick Dorinson

We have a real crisis in America.

It is worse than the fiscal cliff.

Our exploding debt and runaway government spending pale in comparison.

Syria? Afghanistan? Not even close.

We have a real epidemic in this country and it is getting worse.

The epidemic of which I speak is foot-in-mouth disease. And there seems to be no cure as more are infected every day.

At first it was limited to celebrities and politicians because the media records their every move, but now it has crept into the general population.

Foot and mouth disease in humans is different than hoof and mouth disease in cows in that it is not usually fatal. Although it can be fatal to one’s career if the comment that is uttered as the foot goes in the mouth is politically incorrect.

The disease is transmitted via the internet on YouTube, Facebook and Twitter where it quickly becomes a virus. Hence the term “going viral”.

Once it reaches the viral stage it is often too late for the infected patient because  by that time whatever stupid or insipid comment the infected party has said has traveled around the world.

Now there currently is no medical treatment for this ailment.

Self-treatment usually comes in the form of an apology saying you were taken out of context or that you aren’t a racist. If you are a witless celebrity or sports star, the apology is written for you by your publicist or your team’s PR person since I don’t think most of them could spell “cat” even if you spotted them the “c” and the “a”.

With the explosion of instant communication via cell phones and texting, this crippling disease is expanding globally and it shows no sign of abating any time soon.

This week we had two real serious cases of foot in mouth disease.

Eminent foreign policy expert and star of “Sex in the City”, Sarah Jessica Parker was the first victim to be struck by the disease this week and for her and other celebrities it is a chronic condition.

According to the Associated Press while in Oslo at the Nobel Concert honoring the Peace Prize received by the European Union, she “praised the EU’s role in pacifying Europe and uniting different cultures, noting that in the United States, recent elections brought divisions to the surface.

She went on to say that the EU is a “terrific blueprint for us”.

Pacify Europe? Uniting cultures?

The United States pacified Europe, saved them from communism and rebuilt their economies.

Uniting cultures?

Europe is more disunited now then when the EU was founded and it is being overrun and out bred by poor Muslims who the white Europeans fear will take over their countries. The Germans think the Greeks, Spaniards and Italians are lazy ingrates who don’t pay their bills and the British are considering leaving the EU.

Yep that sure sounds like unity to me.

As far as a blueprint for America, we already have the blueprints and are following them to them letter. Mountains of debt, a welfare state that consumes all before it and high unemployment and higher taxes.

Yep right on schedule to be the new EU.

As Judge Judy says beauty will fade but dumb is forever

The second victim was Dr. Nancy Snyderman on NBC’s TODAY show.

She was on a panel with Donny Deutsch and Star Jones.

Matt Lauer asked the panel of city dwellers if it was okay to “out-source” your holiday chores like setting up your Christmas tree and buying your gifts.

What won’t they think of next?

Star Jones said she focused on the religion part of the holiday.

Dr. Snyderman said, “I don’t like the religion part. I think religion mucks the whole thing up.”

Jones, God bless her persisted and stated, “We wouldn’t have the holiday if it wasn’t for the religion part.”

Then Snyderman doubled down on stupid and said, “No I want the green tress and it smells good and everyone’s happy.”

They call it Christ-mas for a reason Dr. Snyderman.

So here is your Cowboy Wisdom for the Week.

Never miss a good chance to just shut up.

Engage your brain before you engage your mouth or fingers.

Because as Lincoln said, “Better to remain silent and thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

And judging by epidemic of foot-in-mouth disease among the celebrities, politicians and the rest of us, there sure are a lot of fools in this country.